The Need to Free Yourself
This morning I was reading two chapters from Dave Pelzer's book, Help Yourself: Finding Hope, Courage, and Happiness I began to take a deeper look into my own soul, my life and my past. I think this time around, I am willing to really take a good look and deal with whatever I need to deal with. I couldn't really do that in the past but now I am willing to come face to face knowing that I may have to relive the pain, the anger, the evil of the past. I know I can't move on if I don't so have to do it.
In the book, the first chapter, it talked about "the need to free yourself". Dave wrote some really wise things that I want to share, in other words, to make a note of it so that I can read it again and again as I reread my own posts often.
Settle your problems as promptly and as thoroughly as you are able.
This statement reminds me of an organizational guru that suggests people to go through their papers and handle them right then by either filing, shred/trash or complete it now. Dave said that if we don't handle our problems right now and then, what happens is that it will be stored in your brain, clogging up brain resources and soon or later, the brain will crash, hence the psychological term "mental breakdown". As I revisit some of the issues, I am going to deal with it at that moment. Will it be tough? Probably so, will I feel better afterward? I sure hope so.
Let go of a past you cannot change.
How many of us know the Serenity prayer? I am trying to remember that prayer, not only is it a prayer but it is a wise saying that needs to be incorporated in my life. The prayer goes like this:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Letting go means accepting that it is going to be there and that way forever, nothing I can do to make something different or change what it is.
In the midst of fighting life's battles, relax.
Dr. Wayne Dyer, in many of his books he wrote, has said that in silence comes the answer. In whatever he meant, I think he is right because in most religions, it is a standard practice to have moment of silence in forms of prayers, meditations or simple focusing on one thing. By relaxing, by tuning out things and just be... the solutions to problems will come and you can then say "bingo, it is taken care of." That is what I want my life to be like.
Vent your frustrations in a controlled yet cleansing manner.
Controlled eruptions are what Dave is suggesting and I am trying to figure out how that applies to my life. That would be really good thing because I am usually a long term emotional person which means I feel one emotion for a long time and I feed that emotion until I get tired of it. The longest running emotion that I can remember of was the summer of 1999 when I was living with two other guys. I was so mad at them for breaking our agreements and they kept getting on my case about minor things. I gave them cold-shoulder treatment for 3 long weeks. I always try to suppress my emotions and deal with it later. But I do talk about how I feel if someone asks me. I prefer that they ask me and then allow me to open up. I can't seem to just ask someone if I could vent and have them just listen. It comes out in outbursts and then I become really frustrated because they can't really respond to my outbursts. Maybe if I had controlled outburst and then
Have the courage to purify yourself of whatever may be holding you back.
This goes back to the Serenity prayer about making changes. Be willing to take a good deep look and say "Okay, I can change something, be it accepting things that I can't change, or actually do make some changes with things that I can change.
Perhaps meditation is in order for me. Let it help me purify myself and get better.
In the book, the first chapter, it talked about "the need to free yourself". Dave wrote some really wise things that I want to share, in other words, to make a note of it so that I can read it again and again as I reread my own posts often.
Settle your problems as promptly and as thoroughly as you are able.
This statement reminds me of an organizational guru that suggests people to go through their papers and handle them right then by either filing, shred/trash or complete it now. Dave said that if we don't handle our problems right now and then, what happens is that it will be stored in your brain, clogging up brain resources and soon or later, the brain will crash, hence the psychological term "mental breakdown". As I revisit some of the issues, I am going to deal with it at that moment. Will it be tough? Probably so, will I feel better afterward? I sure hope so.
Let go of a past you cannot change.
How many of us know the Serenity prayer? I am trying to remember that prayer, not only is it a prayer but it is a wise saying that needs to be incorporated in my life. The prayer goes like this:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Letting go means accepting that it is going to be there and that way forever, nothing I can do to make something different or change what it is.
In the midst of fighting life's battles, relax.
Dr. Wayne Dyer, in many of his books he wrote, has said that in silence comes the answer. In whatever he meant, I think he is right because in most religions, it is a standard practice to have moment of silence in forms of prayers, meditations or simple focusing on one thing. By relaxing, by tuning out things and just be... the solutions to problems will come and you can then say "bingo, it is taken care of." That is what I want my life to be like.
Vent your frustrations in a controlled yet cleansing manner.
Controlled eruptions are what Dave is suggesting and I am trying to figure out how that applies to my life. That would be really good thing because I am usually a long term emotional person which means I feel one emotion for a long time and I feed that emotion until I get tired of it. The longest running emotion that I can remember of was the summer of 1999 when I was living with two other guys. I was so mad at them for breaking our agreements and they kept getting on my case about minor things. I gave them cold-shoulder treatment for 3 long weeks. I always try to suppress my emotions and deal with it later. But I do talk about how I feel if someone asks me. I prefer that they ask me and then allow me to open up. I can't seem to just ask someone if I could vent and have them just listen. It comes out in outbursts and then I become really frustrated because they can't really respond to my outbursts. Maybe if I had controlled outburst and then
Have the courage to purify yourself of whatever may be holding you back.
This goes back to the Serenity prayer about making changes. Be willing to take a good deep look and say "Okay, I can change something, be it accepting things that I can't change, or actually do make some changes with things that I can change.
Perhaps meditation is in order for me. Let it help me purify myself and get better.
posted by Tomas at
2:52 PM
