Surviving a Negative Environment (part 1)
This is the 2nd chapter of Help Yourself: Finding Hope, Courage, and Happiness by Dave Pelzer. There are six wise things coming from the chapter that I am going to put in here and make comments. I have decided that I will post one section at a time because by the time I am done making my comments to each section. It will be 10 pages report. I don’t want you all to feel that you have to read a paper. A blog is not a paper. It is merely snippets of my thoughts. So I hope you all are okay with that idea.
Don’t use your environment as a crutch, if you do, you’ll only limit yourself
I would like to expand that and say "Don't use anything as a crutch." It is so self-limiting. I don't know if most of us have ever heard this saying "Take the 'T out of Can't, and you CAN do it." Our minds are very special and smart, but it can also be dumb at the same time. Here is why, our minds will believe anything that we say is true. If I say that I can't lose weight. My mind will think it is true and make it come true. So taking the ‘T out of Can't and say that I can lose weight. My mind will change and make that new statement true.
“What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather, indicates, his fate”, a quote by H.D. Thoreau. The quote itself is self-explanatory. It doesn’t matter what happens to us, it is what we think of ourselves that determines my fate. Now that is the scary part because that forces me to regulate my thoughts and make sure that it is not negative or limiting. I want my thoughts to soar and make my fate the best that it can be for my own life.
Simply because I am what I think I am. Zig Ziglar, a famous positive mental attitude guru wrote in his book See You at the Top said “You are the sum total of what goes into your mind.” Which was further reinforced by James Allen’s quote “As a man thinketh, so is he…” My mind is a canvas, I am the artist. I get to paint whatever I want. I think I want something that is beautiful like this photograph that I took.
.
It is a beautiful photograph and it is vibrant, bright strong colors. That is what I want my life to be like.
In order for me to have that kind of life, I need to grab the reins and be responsible of my own life. Jack Canfield, co-editor of Chicken Soup for the Soul series wrote in his book The Success Principles, “There is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you.” So I am responsible for my own life, no one else is. That means I got to make decisions, but oh no, that means I will be in charge. No no no I can’t handle that. Oh wait, if I am not in charge then what happens? My life won’t be what I want it to be and I would complain about it all the time. Whose is responsible for that, certainly, I will find someone to blame. You know when you point at someone; you have three fingers pointing back at you. Bottom line is You are responsible for your own life and I am for my own. Let’s take up the reins and do something about that.
Another thing that I truly do believe is that if I blame someone, I am making a crutch for me to use. Blaming someone means I am not taking responsibility for something that there and now. Stephen Covey wrote in his book Seven Habits of highly effective people that the word responsibility means "response-ability" or ability to respond to different things. The first habit is "Be proactive" meaning that we make choices about how we will respond to things. By blaming, we eliminate all other responses and say "See it is his/her/its fault, it is not mine. I am not responsible at all." That is something I need to work on because when I eat to comfort myself, the food is telling me "don't worry, I will take care of you and you don't have to feel pain anymore." But lately it hasn't been working and I need more food to make me feel better. But grabbing a hold of the reins again and telling myself that I need to be in control and I need to let go of everything, I am becoming responsible for my own life and I am making choices that means something to me.
Recently on Lifetime Channel, they have been showing this movie that is based on true story, Fighting the Odds: The Marilyn Gambrell Story. This movie is perfect example of how to not the environment as a crutch. Her students suffered so much but yet they succeeded. They graduated, they realized that they have to choose between being a victim or not be a victim any more. However one student pointed out that in the “No More Victim” class, she was able to take off her mask but couldn’t do that outside of the class. I think that is perfectly fine because survival is important. Being in a safe zone encourages person to realize that they have choices that they need to make. It helps them get the support they need and allow themselves to be open to choose how they will respond to different things. I want to sneak one more quote before I end this section. Tony Robbins, motivational guru, said “It is not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.” One thing we know is that we can change our beliefs and that will change our perspective of those events. You have the power to choose.
Don’t use your environment as a crutch, if you do, you’ll only limit yourself
I would like to expand that and say "Don't use anything as a crutch." It is so self-limiting. I don't know if most of us have ever heard this saying "Take the 'T out of Can't, and you CAN do it." Our minds are very special and smart, but it can also be dumb at the same time. Here is why, our minds will believe anything that we say is true. If I say that I can't lose weight. My mind will think it is true and make it come true. So taking the ‘T out of Can't and say that I can lose weight. My mind will change and make that new statement true.
“What a man thinks of himself, that it is which determines, or rather, indicates, his fate”, a quote by H.D. Thoreau. The quote itself is self-explanatory. It doesn’t matter what happens to us, it is what we think of ourselves that determines my fate. Now that is the scary part because that forces me to regulate my thoughts and make sure that it is not negative or limiting. I want my thoughts to soar and make my fate the best that it can be for my own life.
Simply because I am what I think I am. Zig Ziglar, a famous positive mental attitude guru wrote in his book See You at the Top said “You are the sum total of what goes into your mind.” Which was further reinforced by James Allen’s quote “As a man thinketh, so is he…” My mind is a canvas, I am the artist. I get to paint whatever I want. I think I want something that is beautiful like this photograph that I took.
. It is a beautiful photograph and it is vibrant, bright strong colors. That is what I want my life to be like.
In order for me to have that kind of life, I need to grab the reins and be responsible of my own life. Jack Canfield, co-editor of Chicken Soup for the Soul series wrote in his book The Success Principles, “There is only one person responsible for the quality of the life you live. That person is you.” So I am responsible for my own life, no one else is. That means I got to make decisions, but oh no, that means I will be in charge. No no no I can’t handle that. Oh wait, if I am not in charge then what happens? My life won’t be what I want it to be and I would complain about it all the time. Whose is responsible for that, certainly, I will find someone to blame. You know when you point at someone; you have three fingers pointing back at you. Bottom line is You are responsible for your own life and I am for my own. Let’s take up the reins and do something about that.
Another thing that I truly do believe is that if I blame someone, I am making a crutch for me to use. Blaming someone means I am not taking responsibility for something that there and now. Stephen Covey wrote in his book Seven Habits of highly effective people that the word responsibility means "response-ability" or ability to respond to different things. The first habit is "Be proactive" meaning that we make choices about how we will respond to things. By blaming, we eliminate all other responses and say "See it is his/her/its fault, it is not mine. I am not responsible at all." That is something I need to work on because when I eat to comfort myself, the food is telling me "don't worry, I will take care of you and you don't have to feel pain anymore." But lately it hasn't been working and I need more food to make me feel better. But grabbing a hold of the reins again and telling myself that I need to be in control and I need to let go of everything, I am becoming responsible for my own life and I am making choices that means something to me.
Recently on Lifetime Channel, they have been showing this movie that is based on true story, Fighting the Odds: The Marilyn Gambrell Story. This movie is perfect example of how to not the environment as a crutch. Her students suffered so much but yet they succeeded. They graduated, they realized that they have to choose between being a victim or not be a victim any more. However one student pointed out that in the “No More Victim” class, she was able to take off her mask but couldn’t do that outside of the class. I think that is perfectly fine because survival is important. Being in a safe zone encourages person to realize that they have choices that they need to make. It helps them get the support they need and allow themselves to be open to choose how they will respond to different things. I want to sneak one more quote before I end this section. Tony Robbins, motivational guru, said “It is not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean.” One thing we know is that we can change our beliefs and that will change our perspective of those events. You have the power to choose.
posted by Tomas at
9:50 AM
