I have been building myself up one day at a time, one thing at a time. I am reaching a point that I am beginning to reexamine my life to determine what I really want to do with the rest of my life. I don't want to live my life with lot of shoulda woulda coulda but actually achieve goals and make my dreams come true. I have always wanted to make my dreams come true however for a long time I wouldn't work at it to make it happen. I guess I felt like I wasn't worthy enough to make my dreams come true.

Over time, that has changed because I am appreciating myself and accepting myself. One thing I know that I need to do is find what makes me want to live my life the way I want to live, in other words, what is my sense of purpose? There are a couple of things that I enjoy doing a lot, Photography and writing. When my dad died, my dad left me some money and so I bought me a laptop computer and a digital camera. I start taking pictures and I found out how much joy it gave me to take pictures. Most of my work can be found at my pageon Flickr.com. As for writing, I have been doing a lot of writing over time, however I don't save my writings or actually make it worth putting together. This blog holds most of my past 2 years of writing. Sometime I wonder if I should go back and print out all of my blog entries and go through them all and pick a few of them that I will want to work on expanding and making it into essays. Who knows I may be able to put together enough essays to make a book.

These two things gives me a sense of purpose, a pleasure in life that makes me want to do it any time. But what do I derive from all that? It requires me to be open to express myself and hopefully that it will impact others through their senses and emotions. Now that is a real sense of purpose in my life. To make a difference in a person's life through senses and emotions by providing myself as a sounding board and myself as an open book. Exposing myself like this requires a fundamental change in myself.