I had another breakthrough with my eating habits. My mom was reminding me that we don't have enough food and that we need to go and get more food. I told her, no that is not the case, we have plenty of food, enough to last us a week. Then she finally admits "Well, I want this crab meat, I am hungry for it." Bingo!

I thought how many times have I eaten so much food because I didn't eat what I really want. I realized that if I deny myself something, let's say something chocolate because it is too sugary and a big NO NO in my diet plan, I am more likely to find something else to eat and I won't stop at one serving, I will keep going and going and going until I get sick of it. I am not eating because I am hungry, although I may claim that I am hungry but I am only craving for one specific thing that I won't allow myself to have.

With this in mind, I will remember to allow myself to have whatever I am craving for, in moderation because in long run, I won't be beating myself up with overeating something else because I am denying myself what I am craving for.
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I have a question for you, my dear readers...should I continue posting about my eating habits and all that, or shall I create a new blog focusing mainly on resolving issues with my eating habits and weight loss? Feedback would be highly appreciated.

Howdy everyone,

Today is a quiet day, it is raining and I am feeling a bit blah...but I am still alive so that is a good thing.

A lot of things have happened the past few days. I got to spend good quality time with my best friend, J, the whole weekend. He is such a wonderful guy and we chatted. The poor guy got licked twice by a drunkard at the bar. I was laughing so hard. Then the drunkard tried to hump my back and I was thinking that he should not be humping me because I will smack him. J laughed at me because the drunkard spilled his dirty martini on my shirt. *growl* After that, he and I went to IHOP for a good long chat about Iraq and the war and Bush's administration.

Also I have been going to the gym again, for the first time since my father died. I am doing cardio on Mon, Wed, and Fri, doing weights on Tue, Thu, and Sat. So far my body likes it and I like it. I have a plan and I intend to follow through the plan. I know it will take at least 3 or 4 years before I finally reach to the weight goal that I want. I am doing it in pattern of lose 40 lbs in 4 months, then rest for 2 months, then repeat the 4 months-2 months cycle until I lose 250 lbs. Slow and Steady makes a good plan. I am learning not to expect results overnight. That is one reason why my previous attempts on losing weight kept backfiring on me because I wanted to wake up with a body of Tom Cruise and then I will get frustrated because I don't have that body and would eat to comfort my depression and the cycle begins again.

But since I have been doing this search What is Truth? I have been learning more about myself and I think I am breaking the cycle of depression leading to eating more which leads to me being mad at myself which then leads to depression. I am now replacing eating to exercising or chatting with my friends because it helps me to do something productive with my emotions. Food is not my friend, it is just there so that I can continue to live day to day with energy and all that.