How many of us can say that we have uttered such phrases like "I wish I could move to another country." or "I wish I could forget all of my problems and start fresh."? I used to think like that for many years. I am coming to an age where restarting my life is much too painful than to fix the problem that is bothering me.

Lesson for the week of Jan 8 - 14. "Stop running from your problems"

"Face them head on. No, it won't be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren't supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That's not how we're made. In fact, we're made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that's the whole purpose of living -- to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become."

Problems will always follow you, no matter where you go. Problems may not be the same problems that you ran away from, but I can tell you this...they will come back to haunt you. What you do to deal with your problems can show who you are. I thought I could get away with a lot of things by blaming people for the problems that I had in my life. But now I know better, problems are only there because it is part of life. What matters at this moment is my response to the problems. Should I "man it up" and face the problems, or should I just be an ostrich and bury my head in the sand. No See, No problem but it doesn't work that way. So face my problems one at a time will make me a stronger person every step of the way.

I decided to revive this blog. Haven't typed a message in here for almost 4 years. Wow, but I am at the point of wanting to write again. Today I ran across this blog article by Marc. He listed 30 things to stop doing to yourself. What I would like to do is spend the next 30 weeks talking about each thing and applying that to my life.

First thing is Stop spending time with the wrong people.

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. if someone wants you in their life, they'll make room for you. you shouldn't have to fight for a spot. never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it's not the people that stand by your side when you're at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you're at your worst that are your true friends.

I recently had to severe some of the relationships I have because of the energy drain and psyche it required to maintain the relationship was too much for me. I only wish that they could have understood where I am coming from and respect me for that decision. Perhaps today I can't handle it, but who knows in a few months I can. I do feel better and I think I am a better person because I have energy to focus on taking care of me so that I can be there for my friends and family during the best and worst times.

I notice that when I get frustrated, drained or just plain stressed out over friendship or specific person, I tend to withdraw from everything, and become angry and dwell on that anger for days, sometimes for months. It is not good for me and it hurts everyone in long run.

In the past year, I have gained so many great friends who are just phenomenal about being there for me through it all. Awesome texts from those friends during my low moments have actually made me feel better. I bounce back quicker and I stay engage with life. It is an honor and a pleasure to have those important people in my life.

This is a good idea...stop spending time with the wrong people.

Dear Senator Obama,
I want to congratulate you for being nominated as the Democratic Candidate for President of the United States of America. I watched your speech at the Democratic Convention, and your speech inspired me to get myself back in the electoral process.
In 2003-2004, I was involved with Howard Dean’s campaign as national director for Deaf Americans for Dean Campaign (non-affiliated). I left college with just one more semester left to get my Bachelor’s degree to campaign full time, because I believed that my contribution to the campaign was going to make a big difference. However, as we know, Dr. Dean left the campaign in February of 2004. I was devastated because I felt like I gave up something big and important for something more important. When this year’s election came around, I decided that all I would do is vote and nothing else. This year was the very first time I have watched the Democratic Convention speeches, and I cannot say how proud and how inspired I am with all the speeches I have watched.
Senator Obama, I am writing this letter to you for a million reasons, but none so important than this: You have given me hope. For rekindling that hope, I want to help get you elected. I still have most of my files from the campaign I worked on for Howard Dean. There is a lot of work to do, but I want you to know I will do my best to help you.
In your speech, it was said that the American Promise “that’s always set this country apart…” This is a promise that is not fully shared with every citizen of this great country. The disabled community, especially the deaf section of that community, has been separated from that promise. Still today, we, the deaf people, are fighting to get recognized the important fact that American Sign Language is a language that frees the deaf people from the bondage of a society that is so focused on the ability to hear and ability to speak. Yes, we have come a long way from how things were 20 years ago. But it is not enough.
You said that Democrats measure progress by how many people can find a job; does that include deaf people who struggle to find the job of their dreams or a job that will allow them to move up the ladder of career opportunities within the company or the industry? It appears that, in order for deaf people to be successful, they have to start their own business or non-profit agency to attain higher career positions. Companies out there still are resisting the idea of allowing deaf people to climb the ladder of success. You said that the American Promise is that “each of us has the freedom to make of our own lives what we will, but that we also have obligations to treat each other with dignity and respect.” How is it possible that deaf persons could have dignity and respect when we are getting checks from our government because we can get more money from our government than from a minimum wage dead-end job? Deaf Americans have lost dignity with deaf people outside of America. Deaf Mexicans have a sign for America and the sign is “beggar” because a large number of Deaf Americans are receiving checks from social security or welfare programs. I agree with you that we are better country than what we were. Together as a country, I think we can raise the society up to the point where everyone gets an equal opportunity to achieve the American Dream and fulfill the American Promise.
It begins with education. As of this moment, because of the “Individual with Disabilities Education Act”, educating a deaf child in a residential school for the deaf or using American Sign Language (ASL) has become the last resort. Most parents don’t demand instruction be done in ASL because they are often told by doctors, audiologists and other people that deaf people who sign are not fully functional members of society. Parents are also often told that ASL will prevent their child from learning how to speak and hear--a philosophy that has been around for a long time and dramatically impacted the education of deaf children for more than 120 years. I am hoping that, when you are elected President of the United States of America, you will issue a directive to the office of Special Education and Rehabilitative Services under the Department of Education, to look into educational models for deaf children in early childhood education to see which one is truly effective in long term.
It is my observation and experience that a deaf child is more likely to be a highly successful and active citizen of the society if he/she was taught in a Bicultural-Bilingual educational program. Currently there are three deaf schools that use this approach: Maryland School for the Deaf – Fredrick MD, California School for the Deaf-Fremont and Indiana School for the Deaf. The reason I am advocating this model of education is that in Sweden, they have this model and their deaf students are highly educated. Sweden also has made Sweden Sign Language their official language for deaf people and, from what I understand, parents of deaf children are required to learn Sweden Sign Language so they can communicate with their deaf children. I don’t expect the USA will do the same; however, it is a dream that maybe some day we can achieve.
Educating a deaf child leads us along the road to where we reach the age that we hope the deaf individual will assume individual responsibilities and mutual responsibilities. I hope that in time, the doors and the windows of barriers will be removed so that the deaf citizens can fully participate in society and have equal footing to seize the American Dream and fulfill the American Promise.
Another issue: Health Insurance. It saddens me that most insurance companies, including Medicare and Medicaid, are willing to pay a minimum of $55,000 for cochlear implant but refuse to purchase hearing aids for deaf people who do not wish to get cochlear implants. The implant is a choice, but why do insurance companies support cochlear implants? From what I can see, the implant itself is expensive, but the rehabilitation is even more expensive. Intensive speech and audio training are expensive, and it is backed by Alexander Graham Bell Association. They are the ones who endorse and sell books about Audio-Verbal Training (AVT). They are big supporters for people, especially children, getting cochlear implants. Cochlear Implant is just expensive hearing aid equipment. When a person takes the processor off, he is deaf, just like any other deaf person. He can only hear when he has the processor on. Is it justifiable that the insurance companies spend thousands of dollars for the surgery, the implant and the rehabilitation after the implant while refusing to pay for a hearing aid that costs between $700.00 and $5,000? All that money the insurance companies are spending on the implants could go to providing better insurance coverage for those who are underinsured. It is time we changed something.
Senator Obama, I am going to vote for you because your speech reached deep into my soul where I thought my flame of hope for a better tomorrow had been exhausted, but it had not. Instead, I was able to revive the flame and now the flame of hope for a better tomorrow burns brightly again!

Thank you for your time to read this letter.

Sincerely,

Thomas Green
Columbia, MO

Today's card is Ash. Ash is masculine, east, sun, and fire. Ash is my physical nature. It is said that a forest fire is not good, however much good does come out of a fire because it removes the old and the weak and allows for new life to come through. In a sense, a renewal of life and purification. The fire has to do with purification and change along with power, assertation and spirit. East represents beginning, new starts, clarity and higher self.

Finally, the card itself means:

I am Ash. I am peace of mind through protection. I am the powerful wood in the bows of the Warriors, to help you overcome mental barriers and obstructions so that you may subdue enemies without and within. Good health and recovery from illness is the power of the Ash. I am the stem of the Sacred Pipe that offers prayers and connects you to the Great Mystery. From the flexibility of my wood learn to bend if the need arises. I am prosperity.

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The interpretation of the card suggests that today I should spend time removing whatever excuses and barriers I have about losing weight (physical nature) and allow myself to overcome that major barrier and finally reach my goal of being healthy and fit.